Guitar Hero Van Halen, Thank You So Much

It’s almost like God heard my prayer and said, “It’s your birthday, what the heck.”

Dojo Info 1/29/09

1. As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God
   As a Christian, I agree. But not just Africa… all of us.
2. Miittens
   How cute!
3. Competitive StarCraft Gets UC Berkeley Class
   And here I thought Berkeley was all bad.
4. Rock Band DLC Catalogue Could Reach 5,000 Songs This Year?! [Update: No]
   5,000 is a large number but if that’s not possible, I’d take 500 good songs.
5. Gigapan search
   They got some Jack Bauer technology over here.

Paladin’s Imaginary Musical Career in Rock Band

As a father, it’s built-in that I want my kids to enjoy the things I enjoy and avoid the things I dislike. But there’s a catch. What if I do like something but am so horribly inept that it borders on freakshow status? Well my friends, that’s where Rock Band comes in.

You see, I love music. LOVE it. If I could have been anything in this life it would been to trade places with Eddie Van Halen. I mean really, dude had it all. (Well, before the drug problem, the divorce, the breakup… you get the picture.)

Now back to the “inept” part. I bought a sweet, red Yamaha electric guitar when I was 16. When I tried to play it, it was as if some past dosage of nitrous oxide took control of my hands (more likely my ears and brain) and what came out was anything but musical. I tried and tried but to no avail. Simply stated, I sucked.

(This is all the more troubling that my friend Todd was so incredibly gifted that he picked up the piano in about a month. I’m not even exaggerating.)

So when I was able to play Guitar Hero a couple years back at our friends house, it was all I could do to restrain myself from ordering the game from Amazon on my Blackberry on the drive home. I was hooked like a wide-mouth bass.

Now, I’m not good like my son Ben—he’s a phenom—but I can hold my own. So the purpose of this post is for me to keep track of what I’ve conquered thus far in my music (non-musical) career.

“Oh no, don’t pity me babe
I know I’m alright
O yeah, I’m alright.” -Neil Young

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The Greatest Plastic Guitarist Ever

I’ve found him! The greatest Guitar Hero/Rock Band guitarist of all time. I’m awed by his immense talent and shamed by his incredible skills. If I could be 50% as good as he is, I’d be content.

Did you notice how he was singing along while playing? I bet he even closed his eyes for some of those “easy” parts.

Maybe he’s the cyborg experiment I keep hearing the government is trying to keep under wraps. Judge for yourself the man, the myth, the legend.

I’m thinking about planning a pilgrimage. If this man turns out to be a charlatan then I’ll send in the goons.

Computer Rules Guitar Hero, Um Yeah

This should come as a surprise to anyone. What is surprising is that someone took the time to set it all up!

Dojo Info 11/18/08

1. The Billion-Dollar Batman
   Woozers… that’s a lot of clams Batman.
2. “Liberal Fascism” – The end of freedom and prosperity
   I’ve always that thought for some, politics is their religion. After this election, that seems more clear than ever.
3. The Killers Three-Pack also Coming to Rock Band on Nov. 25
   The Rock Band downloadable pack will feature “Spaceman” (a new single from Day & Age), “Smile Like You Mean It,” and “Mr. Brightside.” Suh-weet!
4. More Details About Konami’s Guitar Hero Arcade Game
   Where’s the anti-bacterial gel dispenser?!?
5. NPD: Behind The Numbers, October 2008
   Looks like GH:WT isn’t going to catch up with Rock Band, at least not for the foreseeable future.

Dojo Info 11/13/08

1. Watch 15 Minutes of Left 4 Dead
   Man! This game is going to be simply frightening!
2. Harmonix: Rock Band 2 and Guitar Hero World Tour Not Competing
   What kind(s) of drugs is Mr. Teasdale taking? This is a Marketing 101 prime example of products competing, uh, yeah.
3. Your 20 Free Rock Band Songs *Are* Coming, Eventually
   They better, or they’ll suffer the wrath of (dramatic music) “Paladin!!” Or, maybe they’ll just take their own sweet time with it. Update: They’re here! Phooey on me for taking too long to post this Dojo Info.
4. Pollsters Inflated Obama Lead
   Are polls inaccurate? Of course. Are they purposefully misleading? It wouldn’t surprise me.
5. Picking up where an angel left off
   People like Debbie O’Daniels are heroes; not self-absorbed, teenage pop stars. Where did we lose our sense of goodness? If anyone finds it, share it with the rest of us.
6. Final Chapter For Circuit City?
   You can only ignore good customer service for so long. Some years back I had to complain to the store manager about the poor service I received and their response was so pitiful, I rarely gave them any business after that. Wow. I hope capitalism doesn’t completely disappear given our trend towards socialism.
7. Democratic legislators ask state Supreme Court to void Prop. 8
   Right. And after this fails to reverse the will of the people the gay lobby will turn to their friends in the Courts. It matters not what our democracy determines, only what they want… which is really strange when you see the data that shows their relationships are far more ‘short-term’ than hetero relationships. I guess it’s not marriage they want after all but an attempt to have their behavior officially stamped as legitimate by society.
8. The 50 Best Rock & Roll Video Games of All Time
   Rolling Stone falls further into irrelevancy with this list. *yawn*

The Beatles Are Coming to Rock Band

The musigame wars are heating up! Guitar Hero is trying to one-up their competition with multi-colored cardboard Burger King meal boxes. Rock Band? They’ve just signed the biggest musical act of all time.

I wonder which game is going to win in the end?

GH:World Tour Gets ‘Hot For Teacher’

No way I’m buying more stuff for our crowded living room after all the Rock Band stuff we’ve got but this is Van Halen’s best song for these kinds of games! Here’s hoping Rock Band gets it too.

Did you see the set list?

* 311 – “Beautiful Disaster”

* 30 Seconds To Mars – “The Kill”
* Airbourne – “Too Much Too Young”
* The Allman Brothers Band – “Ramblin’ Man”
* Anouk – “Good God”
* The Answer – “Never Too Late”
* At The Drive-In – “One Armed Scissor”
* Beastie Boys – “No Sleep Till Brooklyn”
* Beatsteaks – “Hail to the Freaks”
* Billy Idol – “Rebel Yell”

* Black Label Society – “Stillborn”
* Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – “Weapon of Choice”
* blink-182 – “Dammit”
* Blondie – “One Way or Another”
* Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band – “Hollywood Nights”
* Bon Jovi – “Livin’ On A Prayer”
* Bullet For My Valentine – “Scream Aim Fire”
* Coldplay – “Shiver”

* Creedence Clearwater Revival – “Up Around The Bend”
* The Cult – “Love Removal Machine”
* Dinosaur Jr. – “Feel The Pain”
* The Doors – “Love Me Two Times”
* Dream Theater – “Pull Me Under”
* The Eagles – “Hotel California”
* The Enemy – “Aggro”
* Filter – “Hey Man, Nice Shot”
* Fleetwood Mac – “Go Your Own Way”

* Foo Fighters – “Everlong”
* The Guess Who – “American Woman”
* Hush Puppies – “You’re Gonna Say Yeah!”
* Interpol – “Obstacle 1”
* Jane’s Addiction – “Mountain Song”
* Jimi Hendrix – “Purple Haze (Live)”
* Jimi Hendrix – “The Wind Cries Mary”
* Jimmy Eat World – “The Middle”
* Joe Satriani – “Satch Boogie”

* Kent – “Vinternoll2”
* Korn – “Freak On A Leash”
* Lacuna Coil – “Our Truth”
* Lenny Kravitz – “Are You Gonna Go My Way”
* Linkin Park – “What I’ve Done”
* The Living End – “Prisoner of Society”
* Los Lobos – “La Bamba”
* Lost Prophets – “Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)”
* Lynyrd Skynyrd – “Sweet Home Alabama (Live)”

* Mars Volta – “L’Via L’Viaquez”
* MC5’s Wayne Kramer – “Kick Out The Jams”
* Metallica – “Trapped Under Ice”
* Michael Jackson – “Beat It”
* Modest Mouse – “Float On”
* Motörhead – “Overkill”
* Muse – “Assassin”
* Negramaro – “Nuvole e Lenzuola”
* Nirvana – “About a Girl (Unplugged)”

* No Doubt – “Spiderwebs”
* NOFX – “Soul Doubt”
* Oasis – “Some Might Say”
* Ozzy Osbourne – “Crazy Train”
* Ozzy Osbourne – “Mr. Crowley”
* Paramore – “Misery Business”
* Pat Benatar – “Heartbreaker”
* R.E.M. – “The One I Love”
* Radio Futura – “Escuela De Calor”

* Rise Against – “Re-Education Through Labor”
* Sex Pistols – “Pretty Vacant”
* Silversun Pickups – “Lazy Eye”
* Smashing Pumpkins – “Today”
* Steely Dan – “Do It Again”
* Steve Miller Band – “The Joker”
* Sting – “Demolition Man (Live)”
* The Stone Roses – “Love Spreads”
* Stuck In The Sound – “Toy Boy”

* Sublime – “Santeria”
* Survivor – “Eye of the Tiger”
* System of a Down – “B.Y.O.B.”
* Ted Nugent – “Stranglehold”
* Ted Nugent’s Original Guitar Duel Recording
* Tokio Hotel – “Monsoon”
* Tool – “Parabola”
* Tool – “Schism”
* Tool – “Vicarious”
* Trust – “Antisocial”
* Van Halen – “Hot For Teacher”
* Willie Nelson – “On The Road Again”
* Wings – “Band on the Run”
* Zakk Wylde’s Original Guitar Duel Recording

Guitar Hero Fighting Back with Semi Naked Celebrities

How’s that title for a traffic grabber? The actual clip… not so much.