4 Comments

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  caltechgirl 3/30/2006 at 2:57 pm

  I tend to disagree with the notion that straight parents are necessarily better. I think what children get are the benefits of a loving partnered relationship, and if a gay relationship is stable and nurturing, I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t be given equal priority in becoming parents.

  A lot of the argument that a hetero couple is a better choice is based on the FALSE (and long held) assumption that gays are less likely to maintain a stable monogamous relationship than straights. Would you rather place a kid with a gay family may or may not split up or a straight family that is clearly headed for divorce court?

  From what I’ve seen, it doesn’t matter whether the couple is gay or straight, each partner takes on a defined role in parenting. Sometimes straight parents take on what we would consider opposite roles, that is, the father is the nurturer and the mother is the disciplinarian. Gay couples do the same. It’s a fundamental part of the co-parenting relationship.

  The focus should be on what’s best for the kid, and if that’s a a loving, stable home that just happens to include gay parents, I’m all for that.
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  Paladin 3/30/2006 at 3:59 pm

  I wouldn’t exactly call it a notion. The statistics are very real and quite compelling. But I agree with you that the focus should be on what’s best for the child. I guess we just disagree on what the definition of “best” is.

  The gay couple cry, “What about us?” That’s a selfish position. I would argue for the sake of the child, that a traditional married couple is in that childs best interest.
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  SCIA 4/1/2006 at 2:53 pm

  caltechgirl,

  You said:

  “A lot of the argument that a hetero couple is a better choice is based on the FALSE (and long held) assumption that gays are less likely to maintain a stable monogamous relationship than straights.”

  Your facts are wrong. Recent research from a major British medical journal on male same-sex relationships indicates gay men have a very difficult time living by the values of marriage. This study, and many more, have found, on average, steady homosexual relationships last only 1.5 years. The study also found that gay men in steady relationships have an average of eight (8) partners a year outside of thier current relationships. (Maria Xiridou et al., “The Contributions of Steady and Casual Partnerships to the Incidence of HIV infection Among Homosexual Men in Amsterdam,” AIDS 17 (2003): 1029-38.)

  Contrast that with the fact that 67% of first marriages in the United States last ten years, and more than three-quarters of heterosexual married couples report being faithful to their wedding vows. (Matthew Bramlett and William Mosher, “First Marriage Dissolution, Divorce and Remarriage: United States, Advance Data, National Center for Health Statistics, May 31, 2001, p. 1; Edward O. Laumann et al., The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the Unted States (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994), P. 216.)

  You said:

  “From what I’ve seen, it doesn’t matter whether the couple is gay or straight, each partner takes on a defined role in parenting.”

  Yes, from what YOU have seen. Why are we performing these social experiments on children as we did with no-fault divorce 30 years ago? And look where we are now with children in regards to the terrible effects of divorce.

  This defined role in parenting is important for the childs physical, psychological, emotional and intellectual developement. There are more than 25 peer reviewed medical journal studies to back this up with. I will provide them for those who are interested.

  Let’s provide some real evidence next time!
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  Paladin 4/2/2006 at 12:06 am

  Hey SCIA, I appreciate your input and I agree with the data you’ve brought to the discussion, but not need to get combative. Speak the truth in love, my friend.