The Bachelor, Paris: Week 3

Not a crazy episode by any stretch of the imagination, pretty typical fare. Girls find the loner. Girls gang up on the loner. The loner gets even. It’s How To Win a Guy 101. All the same, I find Moana (and her name) a bit disgusting. Am I wrong?

Roses… “Yes!”

Susan gets the first rose of the evening by basically flattering Travis for 5 straight hours. Hey, whatever works. Even still, she’s quite a looker so expect Susan to stick around, even if she’s not the odds-on favorite.

Moana and her gag-reflexive name got tonight’s second rose. She simply outmaneuvered her opponents and the others appeared to become defensive. They all complained about her “stealing time” with Travis but maybe Moana just wanted to ride the JetSki? Maybe Moana isn’t a woman after all? Did you see her with the cigar? I think I noticed an Adam’s apple, but I can’t be sure. Plastic surgery has made tremendous leaps these past few years.

The camping chick got a camping date. The stars were aligned. My wife said The Model would get the rose but I thought differently. Does that mean I’m getting all girly like those Scott tissue truck drivers?

Again with the Jehan? I’m apparently missing something because I just don’t see what she brings to the table, well, besides those vitamins.

Tara is this season’s little bad girl. But if she wants to displace Moana is the “dark and mysterious” one, she’s gonna have to up her badness intake and start working it. Still, she’s growing on me.

Sarah S. received the final rose and gave an enormous sigh of relief. One more week in the house, then she’s gone, but “Hey!” at least there’s a chance, right?

Roses… “No.”

Jennifer was this show’s Tara Reid wanna-be. As the night went on, I started thinking that I may have been a bit harsh in my criticism of her. Not all models are bitches, right? Anyway, she was the major underdog on that camping date and gave a valiant effort. Still, the exposure from the show might help her career so she can’t be too distraught.

Other than never smiling, Shiloh was wonderful. Uh huh. I know CBS edits the crap out of these shows but did she ever smile, even once? Poor girl got labeled and couldn’t recover. Let this be a lesson to all you reality TV contestent hopefuls, in the words of Cosmo Kramer, “Now if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times – poise counts! It’s just as important as the others. Swimsuit! Evening wear! Talent! POISE!”

Until next week, tell us what you think!