I Hear What You’re Signing

Sometimes technology gets a bad rap. It generally comes from people who expect too much. But when tech delivers, it’s amazing. Case in point, some researchers at George Washington University have figured out how to use special gloves to turn sign language into speech.

Sure, they’ll cost a buhzillion dollars but just like plasma TVs, the prices will eventually fall to respectable levels.

Bush Wants to Maintain Definition of Marriage

MSN spotlights an AP story titled, Bush backs law to bar gay marriage. But what’s really being done is making sure that the current definition of marriage remains as it has since the beginning of recorded history. Webster defines marriage as, “The act of marrying, or the state of being married; legal union of a man and a woman for life, as husband and wife; wedlock; matrimony.”

So the healthy thing to remember is that homosexuals can still join together in a lifelong, permanent contract if they so choose, it just can’t be called “marriage” because that word already has a meaning. The term “union” has been used in legal proceedings in the past. This issue really doesn’t have to be as divisive as some groups are making it out to be.

Mars Orbits Close to Home

Everyone knows that Men Are From Mars, but Mars is closer than you think. In fact, on August 27th, Mars will be closer to Earth than at any other time in recorded history. All you astronomy buffs probably already knew this, but for the rest of us… we shouldn’t miss out on this event because it won’t happen again until 2287.

Spongebob Laughfest

I don’t know about you, but Spongebob makes me laugh. Sure, that may mean I’m an immature dolt of a man, but so be it. I love Spongebob, Patrick and the rest and I’m not ashamed who knows it. My favorite of all the episodes is The Idiot Box, where Spongebob and Patrick buy a big screen TV, throw away the TV and get inside the box just so they can use their imaginations. Unfortunately, that episode isn’t on a DVD yet, but Nautical Nonsense is one of the best. Sex in the City? Sopranos? No way, give me the whole Spongebob series!

Shoot for the Sky

What do you do if you’re acrophobic but also suffer from video game addiction disorder? You get the new Flight Sim game from Microsoft. Oh my… if it didn’t look so confusing to play, I’d get it. The screencaps are awesome.

Tiger “Banks” One Off Fan’s Noggin’

Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good. I’m talking about Tiger Woods here, not the poor chap who took a golfball off his head. Turns out, the ball, after hitting John Yates in the head, headed towards the hole and actually helped Tiger’s chances in the final round of the Buick Open. When asked about the following shot Tiger replied, “It was hard to focus on the next shot when the guy is lying there bleeding.”

Mr. Yates wasn’t too upset by the incident, actually he called it his most “memorable moment in golf.” Way to go Tiger.

Will KeepMedia Be a Money Maker?

Borders makes money. Webvan did not. Will Louis Borders latest endeavor, KeepMedia, bring all the right pieces together to build an attractive product that will entice consumers to pay for content? Sounds like a good idea to me but the price will have to be reasonable and an easy-to-use Web site is a must.

Ping-Pong Matrix-Style

It’s impossible to have too much Matrix, so naturally the fans went straight to table tennis. [via memepool]

Nutrition Expert Praises Hyaluronic Acid

Hyaluronic Acid (HA) is getting some great press lately, not as a nutritional supplement, but as a wrinkle remover. Bill Sardi says they’re missing the boat because HA can do far more good than merely improve the appearance of your face. In other vitamin news, happiness fights colds even better than Vitamin C. So maybe some time in that hot tub is more important than that glass of orange juice?

Teacher Inspires Students to Dream Big

Do you remember the name of your favorite teacher? I bet you do. The one that you looked up to, and more importantly, got along with. The one that didn’t make you feel stupid but saw something great inside of you. Well, kids in Jerry Ford’s class think he’s the greatest. His biker image is easily set aside as he works to help his students see the value of learning. Writing murder mysteries isn’t for everyone, but everyone has dreams, and he wants to encourage his kids to dream big.

Lazy Drivers Rejoice

Toyota has announced a car that can park itself. Are you kidding me? I don’t know how it works (or even if it works at all), but can you see all the defandants now, “But judge, it wasn’t my fault… I had the AutoPark^TM system engaged.” I’m waiting for version 2.0.

NFL Player Saves Brother’s Life after Stabbing

What was a horrible event—a violent stabbing—became an opportunity for Scotty Anderson to act. His actions most likely saved his brother’s life, who for four hours was thought to be dead. A misunderstanding became an argument which led to the stabbings. Now Scotty is calling it “a miracle and a blessing.” Guess these Anderson boys are part of the “glass is half full” group.

Golf Is a Love-Hate Relationship

A friend of mine passed along this email called the Thirty-Two Absolute Truths of Golf. If you’re one of the cursed souls who is drawn in by golf’s allure yet still frustrated by overwhelming frustration of the game, this list is sure to make you laugh out loud.

1. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
2. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
3. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
4. When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
5. Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
7. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
8. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
9. If you’re afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
10. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
11. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.
12. If it ain’t broke, try changing your grip.
13. Golfers who claim they don’t cheat, also lie.
14. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
15. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent’s luck.
16. It’s surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you are lying 10.
17. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
    expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
18. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
19. It’s not a gimme if you’re still away.
20. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
21. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
22. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.
23. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
24. If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
25. To calculate the speed of a player’s downswing, multiply the speed of his back swing by his handicap. Example: back swing 30 mph, handicap 20, downswing 600 mph.
26. There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
27. Hazards attract; fairways repel.
28. You can put “draw” on the ball, you can put “fade” on the ball, but no golfer can put “straight” on the ball.
29. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
30. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.
31. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
32. Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.

Rustboy

From his own mouth, “The Rustboy book is nearing completion, and should be available around the end of August.” One of the most remarkable, one-man-shows I’ve ever seen. Should be wonderful, but I’m really more excited about the movie. I hope his work on the book hasn’t totally derailed his enthusiasm for the film. One thing is certain Mr. Taylor is truly blessed with amazing talents.

Gnarly Waves for Worshipful Surf Dudes

Surfers understand that the world wasn’t created as an accident. Being in touch with the creation helps us better understand the creator. Or as Rabbi Nachum Shifren puts it, “Surfing is the most spiritual thing that you can do.” Hang loose good buddy. Yeah. [via Thunderstruck]