3 Suspected Terrorists Captured

We’ve got another good news item in the war on terrorism. Three people have been arrested in what’s believed to be a plan to smuggle a rocket-launcher style weapon into the U.S. Ties to al-Qaida seem obvious but haven’t been declared just yet. Keep up the good work guys, I still would like to fly the friendly skies. (United’s trademark on “friendly skies” has run out, so I won’t be sending them any cash.)