Hot Dog Eating Champion

My new hero is Takeru Kobayashi. Last year he ate 50 and 1/2 hot dogs in 12 minutes. He’s been winning these contests for years now. Surprisingly, he’s only 5’7″ 130lbs. Simply astounding. Where could he possibly fit all that food? So, it should be a surprise to no one that he is currently ranked #1 over at the International Federation of Competitive Eating. The IFOCE isn’t only about hot dogs. Mark your calendars, we’ve got cabbage in August! Woo hoo!

Keanu Bad, Connery Worse?

I always find these lists entertaining. Here’s a poll of the Worst Film Accents. The hard part is understanding how it’s possible that there could be five people with worse accents than Keanu Reeves in Dracula. Outstanding.

To Be a Good Democrat

For all my good Democrat friends out there, here’s an email that a friend sent to me. Remember, this is all good fun so let’s limit the hate mail. Some of the contridictions are spot on. And in some amazingly similar news… Jerry Springer wants to run for the Senate. Yeah, that’s what America needs. ;^)

To Be a Good Democrat

If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, you must have certain basic beliefs:

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding.
2. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
3. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
4. You have to believe that all ideas from Republicans favor only the rich and “big business.”
5. You have to be against capital punishment (putting murderers to death) but support abortion (killing innocent unborn babies) on demand (Federally funded, of course.)
6. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
7. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature but loony activists from Seattle do.
8. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
9. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
10. You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.
11. You have to believe that education in America is poor because of a lack of Federal funding, but even without it, teachers are fully qualified to teach your kids about sex.
12. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
13. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist but racial quotas are not.
14. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
15. You have to believe that homosexual parades should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
16. You have to believe the purpose of government is to take money from people who earned it and spend it on people who did not earn it.
17. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
18. You have to believe in the principles of Democracy but demand only Democrat victories in elections.
19. You have to believe that people who disagree with you are stupid and backward while believing people who agree with you are “progressive” and “enlightened.”
20. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
21. You have to believe that a “B” average economics major from Yale University with a MBA from Harvard Business School is too stupid to be President of the United States.
22. You have to believe that a “C” average history major from Harvard University, dropout from Vanderbilt Law School and failure at Vanderbilt Divinity School is brilliant and should be President of the United States.
23. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
24. You have to believe that all ideas from Republicans are wrong while the same ideas touted by Democrats are “fair” and compassionate.
25. You have to agree with France’s position on the war in Iraq until after victory was achieved.
26. You have to believe that Federal funding is the primary way to fix any problem, except, of course, funding for the military.
27. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.

Porn Stunts Your Growth

“Porn will stunt your growth.” So says the first anti-porn advertisement. Sure is bringing in a lot of controversy for the XXXchurch who sponsored the ad. The thing I always think about is that most of the uber-psycho mass-murderers all used porn at early ages, then went on to “bigger and better” things.

The Slippery Slope

The Supreme Court has struck down the Sodomy law in Texas, which is the homosexual lobby’s Phase 1 in redefining marriage here in America. Their argument is what is down in the privacy of a home should be protected by law. But there are two dangers that this decision has now let loose on society.

First, the CDC has reported that homosexual sodomy is the primay means of transmitting the HIV infection. In fact, homosexual men have a 1000 times higher chance of contracting AIDS than a heterosexual men. It get’s even scarier. Thirty percent of all 20-year-old homosexual men living today will be HIV-positive or dead by age 30. That’s just 10 years. This court decision authorizes behavior that’s clearly harmful to the very people asking for it. All of us will be effected by substantial increases in healthcare costs that are already bounding out-of-control.

The second danger is that what is done in the “privacy of a home” can now be stretched to include almost any harmful or devaint behavior. What about incest? What about polygamy? Bestiality? Torture? Where do you draw the line? This is most assuredly a slippery slope and is rightfully called social engineering by the high court. In Justice Scalia’s dissent he said the court “has largely signed on to the so-called homosexual agenda.”

Football vs. Football

Who says football players are fat and slow? Not this European soccar player.

NBA Draft 2003

The NBA Draft [see grades] took place last night and to no one’s suprise, LeBron James was the first selection. Given the Alps-sized mountains of hype leveled on James, he’s staying surprisingly humble. When introducing himself to teammate Carlos Boozer, he said, “Mr. Boozer, I’m LeBron James.” Mister?!? That’s stellar.

Go West Young Man

If I had any “sense of adventure” I’d pack up the family and move to Denver to be Mark Cuban’s Art Director by day and black diamond shredder by night. Ahhh… just thinking about it gives me goose bumps. Don’t forget, the NBA Draft is tonight.

ADL Up in Arms

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL), even though they’ve only read an early version of the screenplay, charges that Mel Gibson’s new movie, “The Passion”, about the death of Christ, promotes anti-semiticism. As for me, it’s fairly clear from the Bible and hundreds of other historical documents that it was, in fact, the Jews that did call for the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth. Even though this particular event in history is basically irrefutable, I do understand where this group is coming from. Because no ethnic group in the history of the world has been more unjustly abused than the Jews. I wonder if it has anything to do with their being God’s chosen people?

Apple Using the Passing Lane

Apple has never been one to hold their tongues, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone to hear Jobs say they had “the world’s fastest personal computer.” And you know what? They should. Because It’s Not the Big that Eat the Small…It’s the Fast that Eat the Slow. And anyone who’s worked for a large, lumbering giant understands that Apple has to be faster than Microsoft. Competition is a very good thing.

Net on the Net

new net on the Net but still, I can only wonder at how much progress can be made on the existing lines. If Internet bandwidth is anything like hard disk space, there will always be new programs that (seemingly) grow to fill the available space. I still wish residential T1 prices would drop under $100/month, but they’re getting closer.

The Rise and Fall of Dot.com

Got a big ole list of failed dot.com’s but it’s hardly complete without my workplace alma mater—marchFIRST—one of the biggest Internet flops of all time. And to think… I was a part of it.

The American Dream

We closed on our new house today. Since the lawyers make you sign 3 or 4 million documents, I thought they could add just one more that basically says:

“I, insert name here, am hereby not responsible for any signature that the sneaky lawyer, John Doe, quickly hid in the stream of papers that I signed during this 92 minute meeting.”

But I’m sure they’d have another document to counter this one and then it’d be which one did I sign last and the whole deal would just disintegrate. … Yay! I’m a homeowner!

SeaSilver is Snake Oil

If those SeaSilver commericals are making a believer out of you (they got me) then you need to revisit Caveat emptor. SeaSilver relies on deceptive advertising, which health journalist Bill Sardi, shows to be misleading. Instead, he makes some detailed recommendations that I will now focus my vitamin education upon.

She’s Such a Cut Up

Don’t look now but Redbook likes to cut-and-paste heads. Julia Roberts wasn’t happy.